MONOLOG
Ya Allah,
usahlah nanti,
tinta berbicara,
di dataran bah,
peluh di Mahsyar,
'Inilah tuanku,
yang tulisnya,
tak serupa bikin.'
Nauzubillah...
usahlah nanti,
tinta berbicara,
di dataran bah,
peluh di Mahsyar,
'Inilah tuanku,
yang tulisnya,
tak serupa bikin.'
Nauzubillah...
posted by Hafez Iftiqar at 12:23 PM
2 Comments:
hey sorry for this anonymous comment; i just dont like to be known. but anyway, ive read ur little story 'anak pungut'. nice attempt, but not all that. im sure ur open to critism so hear me out.
as a kid, i grew up reading those kind of stories. orphans, poor people, disabled kids, rich proud misled people. most have the same theme- born with poor luck, burdened with disadvantages, but blessed with faith and determination to change their own life. "i am a victim of society, but i am strong, i will survive, i have the will, i have faith to guide me, i am ambitious, i have dreams."
how many times have u read stories on how orphans need love? how poor ppl want to go to school and become doctors, engineers, lawyers? how rich ppl are materialistic and have forgotten the islamic teachings and in the end return to the right path?
how many times?
u name it, weve all seen it. so in my opinion, urs is no different. it sticks to all the typical plots. wheres originality? has it gone missing?
have u been to an orphanage? i bet u have. or else u wouldnt be inspired to write about orphans. OR are u an orphan? how do u menyelami a character if u havent seen/experienced it?
now kids in orphanage- heres the hard truth about them. they dont really want to study. NOT all of them, i dont want to generalize. i am already being judgmental. theyre in the orphanage, they get money they never had at home, they love the allowance. they beat up kids at school, they extort money, they dont do homeworks, they vandalize, they dont have role models and they dont know what to become in the future. some of them think theyll get it easy since theyre orphans and ppl generally pity them.
why dont ppl wake up? i know its part of our responsibility to care for them, as muslims. but that doesnt mean we have to close eyes and let them have it easy
i cant be a judge of reality because its wrong to generalize people. but in terms of fictions and stories, i know urs is a typical one. that is not the way to enlighten ppl anymore. we've read all that. why dont u try to escape normality? think very broadly, the world is not small. its full of all kind of ppl
Thanks for the enlightened comment, which caused me to reread the cerpen.
I have been involved a lot with orphans and also experienced teaching them. Both educational and medical field have exposed me a little bit to their world (frankly speaking, I know too little about them).
Yes, the writing was about a typical life of an orphan. Missing of love, materialistic society that ignored their existence, life pressure forced them to seek work to sustain their needs, determination to be at same level to ‘lucky’ kids, ambition to be fulfilled etc. These are all about a ‘good’ orphan. I have encountered the one that seek attention by doing damage to other people and also himself; this is when I was teaching at a suburb secondary school. In Anak Pungut, my aim is to let people think, if such typical life continuing without we play our responsibility, these kids have to face the bitter world alone. In my writing, I have tried not to mislead readers by writing how with all of these difficulties, an orphan can be a doctor, engineer etc. because in reality this is rarely happen (but it do happen, I admired such people, and may Allah lead them here and hereafter). I believe, the problem faced, is due to pagan and tyrant practicing by society: individualistic, materialistic, hedonism, etc. Anak Pungut to me is an urge to reader to think about orphanage (in this context: premarital son) and defected society, yet I was not covered the problems thoroughly. I believe that the root of all these problems is failure to practice what we suppose to.
Thanks for your thought; I really hope there will be a lot more comments like this. That made me thinking. May Allah bless you and thanks again. =)
Post a Comment
<< Home